I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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