Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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