LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
