I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
