I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
