she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
