I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
