i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
