My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
