At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
So much Jack, so little girl.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
