Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
