haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
