For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
