Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
