i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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