The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
