is your mom at the bar?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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