Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
