ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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