so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
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