Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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