we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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