i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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