Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
