I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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