Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I CAN MOONWALK!
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
she pinky promised me she was 18
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
