also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
