Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
