well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
