well you can't waste a boner
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
