My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
