Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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