Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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