you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Randomize
