some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
