i just google imaged poop.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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