See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
