I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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