His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
