No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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