The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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