i was born a porn star she said
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Randomize
