So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
