we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
