How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Randomize
