Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
