Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
