I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
