Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I have tasted many bathrooms
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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