u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
