what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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