Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
