i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
